he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
wow bdsm is so cute
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize