This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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