people are starting to question the shark bite story
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
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