return my video game
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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