you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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