Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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