I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Randomize
