I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I CAN MOONWALK!
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
