I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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