I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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