at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
