you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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