yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
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How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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