The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need a sexual gate keeper
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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