It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
