Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
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at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
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To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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