oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
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