am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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