so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize