I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
