farters have to be the big spoon...
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
