I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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