who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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