1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
