How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
