you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
