hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
