Taylor Swift is so right about you.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
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I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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