Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
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