what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
