I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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