i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
