Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
