Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
