CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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