They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
