Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
