dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
