No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
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like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.