Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
the evidence from last night is not good...
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.