You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
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this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
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That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?