I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
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Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
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Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.