My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.