I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
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He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
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Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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