I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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