dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
