fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
it's like iHOP with fire
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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