Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
