Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
