K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
