I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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