I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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