it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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