chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
My Sexting was not on an AP level
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
