Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize