i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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