The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
